"Unvirtuous Abbey" PDF Print E-mail
Written by Julie Blum   

There is a new presence on the internet.  They go by the name “Unvirtuous Abbey” and this is how they describe themselves: “Holier than thou, but not by much. Digital monks praying for people with first world problems. From our keyboard to God's ears. Since Aug. 4, 2010.”  They show up on twitter and facebook as well as other random places on the internet offering prayers and petitions..... 

Most of their prayers have a humorous and sarcastic edge but at the same time offer deep truths.  Since I believe there is a connection between humor, hope and the holy I’m including some of their posting below for your reading pleasure.  May God speak to you in the laughter.  Peace, Pastor Julie Blum

 

·         For those who think they are quoting Mother Teresa when actually they are quoting Bill Cosby, we pray to the Lord.

·         For politicians who spend more time proving how Christian they are, instead of how qualified they are to govern, we pray.

·         From pastors who use guilt and shame as teaching tools, Lord, deliver us.

·         For those whose greatest skill in meetings is shooting down ideas, we pray.

·         For stones of hope on mountains of despair, we give you thanks, O God.

·         For those who honor Dr. King with a king-sized appliance sale, we pray.

·         For those who cut and paste scripture like it's their own personal scrapbook, we pray to the Lord.

·         For those who are straight, but not narrow, we give you thanks, O God.

·         Lord, you who told Lazarus to “Come out!”, we pray for Christians who tell people it’s wrong to do that. Amen.

·         For those who think God alters the outcome of a football game while today 30,000 children die from preventable disease, we pray.

·         From those who read their PowerPoint presentations word for word, Lord, deliver us.

·         This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and drink caffeinated beverages.

·         For those who write and sponsor repressive legislation but give it a name that sounds wholesome and patriotic, Lord have mercy.

·         For those who should close their mouths and open their minds, Lord hear our prayer.

·         For those who threaten you with hell, we pray to the Lord. For those who threaten you with heaven, we give thanks. Amen.

·         For atheists who challenge Christians to be more authentic about their faith, we give thanks.

·         For those who think that the United States' Constitution belongs in the New Testament (or vice versa), Lord we pray.

·         Lord, that you may give me a fat bank account and a thin body, and don't mix it up like you did last year. Amen.

·         For those who have more Apple products than friends, we pray.

·         For those who love Jesus, just not the people he loved, Lord have mercy.

·         For those who think of Christmas as THEIR birthday, Lord have mercy.

·         For those who take forever to say nothing, we pray.

·         For those who want to keep Christ in Christmas while forgetting the Christ in Christian, we pray to the Lord.

·         For those who answer their cell phone during a funeral, Lord have mercy.

 

 
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